Hugh and Rod start off this week’s episode by concocting and consuming the soda suicides based on last week’s flavor draft. Then, it’s time to roll out the red carpet for the 1st Annual Hungry Dads Foodie Awards. Better food villain: Cookie Crook or Count Chocula? Listen to find out.
Last but not least, Mr. Gallon shares a three day juicing roller coaster of emotions captured in real time. Did he survive three consecutive days of juice? Doubtful.
(00:21) Suicide Watch – Rod and Hugh go back into the HD labs, pull out their beakers and test tubes, and mix up the “soda suicides” that they drafted in Episode 23’s Great American Food Draft. Hugh’s Suicide: Cola + Cherry Cola + Lemon Lime Soda. While the cola color unsurprisingly took visual prominence, the most prominent flavor was lemon lime, while the bouquet was of cherry. Rod’s suicide: Grape Soda + Orange Soda + Root Beer. Rod found it surprisingly tasty with the Root Beer providing a good amount of carbonation, Grape providing the most flavor, with a little hint of orange at the end.
(07:21) The First Annual Foodie Awards – After a lame but clever Birdman/Colonel Sanders crack, host Rod Budget introduces the The First Annual Foodie Awards (plus the First Annual Gaggies). Much like the Oscars, the Foodies honor various categories but instead span a wide array of food marketing. And the Gaggies are to the Foodie awards what the Razzies are to the Oscars… the worst of the worst. Check the show for the winners and losers. Disagree? Let us know in the comments below.
Category #1 – Best Cereal Mascot. And the nominees are:
- Toucan Sam in Fruit Loops
- Dig ‘Em Frog in Sugar Smacks
- Tony the Tiger in Frosted Flakes
- Cap n Crunch in Cap n Crunch
- Sonny the Cuckoo Bird in Cocoa Puffs
The Gaggie goes to: CHEF WENDELL CINAMMON TOAST CRUNCH
Category #2 – Next up is best Fast Food TV commercial. And the nominees are:
- Kate Upton in a bikini for Carl’s Jr.
- Yo Quiero Taco Bell for Taco Bell
- “The Showdown” Larry Bird vs. Michael Jordan for McDonald’s
- Where’s the Beef for Wendy’s
The Gaggie goes to: WAKE UP WITH THE KING – BURGER KING
Category #3 – Best Food Villain. And the nominees are:
- Count Chocula in Count Chocula Cereal
- Hamburglar in McDonald’s
- Cookie Crook in Cookie Crisp Cereal
- Trix Rabbit in Trix Cereal
The Gaggie goes to: NOID FOR DOMINOES (AVOID THE NOID… RUINS YOUR PIZZA… CLAYMATION..)
Category #4 – Best Food Jingle or Song. And the nominees are:
- What ya gonna pick – Hot Pockets?
- I wish I were an Oscar Mayer Weiner
- Mentos Fresh and Full of Life
- Gimme a Break – Kit Kat
- I want my Baby Back Baby Back Baby Back – Chili’s
- Give your breath long lasting freshness (or “the little longer song”) – Big Red Chewing Gum
The Gaggie goes to: SUBWAY $5 FOOT LONG
Category #5 – Best Food Mascot in a non-cereal or restaurant role. And the nominees are:
- Jolly Green Giant
- Mr. Peanut
- Charlie Tuna
- Pilsbury Dough boy
- Chester the Cheetah
- The Kool-Aid Man
The Gaggie goes to: GORTON’S FISHERMAN
(10:17) Food for Thought: Hugh’s Juicy Experiment – Hugh reveals that he engaged in a three-day all fresh juice diet. He kept an audio journal and shared his ongoing thoughts through the three day trial, including these insights:
7:30AM – Drinking hot water while jealously watching my children eat cereal. The Indigo Girls playing on the radio.
11:00AM – Preparing the first juice consisting of pear, spinach, cucumber, and celery.
4:00PM – Finished third juice. It tasted good. Hunger isn’t main issue, but I feel a bit out of it. It not the juicing that’s hard it the parenting without as much energy.
5:17PM – Making dinner for the kids and a grain of rice stuck on my hand. I instinctively went to lick it off and put it in my mouth, but I immediately spit it out thereby maintaining the integrity of the juice project.
9:40PM – End of day one. I had five juices. I am pretty hungry. Have a headache. Going to bed.
6:35AM – This juice project is clearly less of a cleanse or energy booster and more test of willpower. I woke up feeling neither fantastic nor horrible. Not dying for juice but I want something.
10:11AM – Don’t feel great – not horrible, but sluggish. Juice alone doesn’t give me energy. Craving to eat solid food and not looking forward to next juice.
11:37AM – My papaya juice from a half hour ago kicked in and I feel pretty good. Blood sugar is up. Headache gone
2:40PM – I just made another juice. I think you lose weight because spend so much energy making juices that by the time you’ve made it, you’ve burned every calorie you take in. Had a deep thought about chimps.
??:?? PM – Much of my day seems to be spent cutting fruit, juicing fruit, and cleaning fruit pulp out of the juicer.
5:20PM – Feel okay now. I’ve come to realize that there is a 30 minute window of feeling good. Then blood sugar goes down – lethargy and headache sets in.
7:45P – The kids are in bed. Normally I would get some things done at this time, but I am too tired and am going to bed. Mrs. Gallon said my eyes look black and sunken in.
8:00PM – Rather than go right to bed, I’ve decided to use the last of my energy to make another juice.
6:16AM – woke up feeling not amazing. They say I should be full of energy. This feels like a normal morning. Considering I went to bed early, shouldn’t I feel more rested? I’m not hungry. No headache.
5:28PM – Commuting home after a day at work and 3 large juices. Energy level and hunger were pretty normal throughout the day. Resisted temptation to stop at the Grand Central Bakery.
7:17PM – Taking the trash out to the curb and noticing that our trash can is remarkably heavy due to all of the fruit and vegetable pulp.
8:06PM – Just drank my last juice. Hungry, nut not sluggish. Overall, on day three, my energy level was on par with any other day.