On an earlier episode of the Hungry Dads Podcast, I expressed my affection for Tootsies’s Dots and revealed them as one of my go-to candies for walking and eating, as well as for Halloween candy pilfering. I was viciously attacked by my cohost, Rod Budget. Budget called Dots awful and an amateur candy at best. I opened my mouth to defend them…and nothing came out.
Dots are a brightly colored, chewy candy. They are shaped like gum drops. But they are much harder and chewier in texture. Biting into a Dot is a bit like biting into plastic – and they even smell a little like plastic. I don’t think I can defend them. But I love them. And I think I know why…
As a kid, I was a chewer. I chewed on my toys like an adorable puppy dog. My mom refused to buy me a replacement He-Man after I gnawed off his sword gripping hand. She said she would stop being me toys if I ate any more of them. It was a phase. I got over it (mostly because I wanted more toys).
Dots’ plasticy nature bring me back to childhood. They scratch that plastic chewing itch that I still have. As a candy, Dots are indefensible. But they are by far the most delicious plastic I have ever eaten.
Epilogue: In my Halloween candy pilfering, I’ve also noted the benefit of Dots packaging. Opens quietly with no crinkling sounds. Perfect for the covert candy operation.