Cow Tales


Next up on Disney… Cow Tales… This must have been an animated series at some point, right? Perhaps the unsuccessful spinoff of Duck Tales? More importantly, why is this the name of a candy item? Most importantly, how did these randomly appear at my local convenience store? They had a premium spot on the candy aisle, right between Kit Kats and Snickers. Have I just never noticed them? Are they new? So many questions with so few answers. BUT ROD, are they yummy????

Cow tales employee the packages within a package strategy, with four cylindrical tales wrapped inside the outer packaging. It’s a generous portion, for sure. The tales have a caramel outside with a white creme filling. The caramel is sorta in the Bit o Honey/Tootsie Roll realm. The inner frosting stuff was excellent, and somewhat like actual super sweetened milk. It’s obviously thicker than milk, but the thick caramel exterior gives it a seemingly runnier characteristic.

The main drawback, other than the odd name, is the caramel quality and consistency. It’s a tough caramel and it sticks to the molars in a major fashion. It took a good ten minutes of tongue scraping to remove all the caramel debris. For those who like candy that adheres violently to your teeth, this is for you. I personally can’t handle it. Which is a shame, because the inner filling is amazing, and the portion of four large tales is very generous.  Maybe the pilot episode of Cow Tales can feature an agitated Rod Budget walking around with his teeth stuck together. Hilarity ensues!