Food Rivals: Cheese Steaks, Chocolate Drinks, Jerkies, & Candy-Coated Chocolate Ep. 74

What’s the best cheese steak? Pat’s vs. Genos? Name brand beef jerky vs. store brand? Yoohoo! vs. chocolate milk? M&Ms vs. Sixlets? We find out, with live taste tests, on-location reporting, a drinking competition, and frank analysis of these food rivals.

 

Round 1: Cheesesteaks – Pat’s versus Geno’s

In this corner…since 1930. The self-proclaimed originator and inventor of the steak and cheesesteak sandwich.  Located on East Passyunk Avenue.  In the city of brotherly love, closed only on Christmas and thanksgiving…

Pats. King. Of. Steaks!

In the opposite corner…since 1956, the 50 year old young upstart on the block, with his own cheesy, steaky style. At the corner of 9th and Passyunk Avenue. Also in Philadelphia. Slinging up juicy, never greasy always meaty grub…

Geeenoooo’s Steaks!!!

steak vs steak long copy

Boxing ring and gloves illustrated by the AMAZING Eric Scott Fisher

The Winner: Pat’s (Plenty of chopped meat, Nice spongy bun, Thick, almost congealed, cheese wiz).

The Loser: Geno’s (Sliced meat, Tougher bun, Runny and drippy Cheese Wiz, Saltier – but still delicious)

Round 2: Jerkies – Jack Link’s Original Beef Steak versus 711 XXL Beef Steak

In this corner…From Minong Wisconsin. Dried, smoked and packed for your beefy pleasure.  The meaty treat carnivores and Sasquatch love to eat. Feeding Your Wild Side since 1986. It’s meaty.  It’s chewy. It’s smoky.

Jack Links Beef Jerky!!

And in the opposite corner… Hailing from the most famous convenience store in the world. A tasty store brand that’s about twenty cents cheaper than its name brand counterpart. Salty and chewy. With just a hint of soy byproduct.

Seven Eleven Beef …. Jerk…Eeeeyy!

Jerky vs copy

The Winner: Jack Link’s (Net Weight = 2 Oz, Price = $1.79, Dense/Chewy, Beefier, Higher Quality, Better Taste)

The Loser: Seven Eleven (Net Weight = 2 Oz, Price = $1.59, Softer, Greasier, Sweeter, Saltier, Soy Byproduct, Still Pretty Tasty)

Round 3: Yoohoo! Vs. Nesquick Chocolate Milk

In this corner…In a yellow bottle. It comes straight from the cow. With a little sugar. And a little chocolate. It’s your favorite since childhood…

Chocolate Milk!

In the opposite corner… It was your grandfather’s favorite. Shake it before you drink it. Coming in at 230 calories per bottle. Its..

Yoohoo!

milk vs yohoo

SPLIT DECISION

Yoohoo (bottle showcases brown liquid, Must be shaken up, Thinner and easy to chug, Goes down smooth, Lactose tolerant)

Nesquick Chocolate Milk (Fun cartoon rabbit, Frothy when shaken, Thicker, Coats the tongue, Plastic bottle provides inferior insulation – not as cold)

Round 4: Candy Coated Chocolate – M&Ms versus Sixlets

In this corner…It’s the old time chocolate candy in a little cellophane sleeve. With a uniformly round shape and PACKed with malted carob flavor. Ironically they do NOT come in packs of six… They are

Sixxx-letsssss!

And in the opposite corner… Weighing in at less than one gram per oblate spheroid shaped piece. Popular enough to spawn its own store in New York Times Square. The double consonant chocolate candy that melts in your mouth, not in your hand!

M and Emmms!

mm sixlet

The Winner: M&Ms (Classic American Chocolate, Firm, Not soft, Oblate spheroid shape, Thin candy shell, Red #5 coloring NOT poisonous)

The Loser: Sixlets (Soft malt/carob chocolate, slightly chalky, slightly waxy, nearly spherical, poor structural integrity, Sweet, Sweet, Too sweet)