Ep. 79 – Military Rations Taste Test

Menu 1 Chili with Beans MRE

Menu 1 Chili with Beans MRE

Taste testing and reviewing military “MREs” (or “Meals Ready to Eat”) with Tim the Enchanter. We were given some MREs by our good friend and man of honor – Tim – Tim the Enchanter!

In sum, God bless the soldiers from a food tolerance perspective alone.  Its edible but we would tire of this stuff quick. Dense and not a hint of freshness.    Its amazing how much packed in – we opened it with the excitement of a kid getting a chemistry set.

MREs

MREs

(0:45) The fellas welcome back “Tim the Enchanter” who was kind enough to send some real-deal military “MREs” or “Meals Ready to Eat.” This is the stuff that our men and women of the military eat for days or weeks  on end.  The Hungry Dads review the vast and impressive contents inside four MREs, including:

Chili with Beans, Vegetable Crackers, Cheese Spread, Cornbread TFF, Cheese Filled Pretzels, Beverage Base Powder Orange

MRE Chicken Pesto Pasta, Cheese Filled Pretzels, and Patriotic Sugar Cookies

MRE Chicken Pesto Pasta, Cheese Filled Pretzels, and Patriotic Sugar Cookies

Menu 23: Chicken Pesto Pasta, White Wheat Snack Bread TFF, Patriotic Sugar Cookies, Apple Turnover, Carbohydrate Electrolyte Beverage Powder Fruit Punch

MRE Menu 23

MRE Menu 23

 

Each came with a little Condiments & utensils pack

(3:05) Hugh shared a clip after he recorded himself and his kids checking out the contents of the MRE. His son identified the use of matches in the MRE while Tim shares the reason for the included gum (to protectmour soldiers from flatulence).

MRE Cheese Filled Pretzel (Combo)

MRE Cheese Filled Pretzel (Combo)

(4:30) HD Trivia: What common gas station snack are the MRE “Cheese Filled Pretzels” masquerading as?  Then Hugh’s kids tell us what they think of the bread and the Garden Thin style vegetable crackers. Then Hugh’s wife does some military grade cheese-kneading.

(6:45) The Gallon family reviews the chili. Is it spicy?

(8:00) Rod shares the contents of his “Creamy Spinach Fettuccini” MRE.

MRE Spoon

MRE Spoon

(9:00) A vicious anti-spork stance is announced.  The gang rips on sporks and congratulates our military on not burdening the MREs with such a useless item. A spork is not a multi-tasker. Sporks are a Nano-tasker.

(10:24) Rod gives his impressions and review of the “Creamy Spinach Fettuccini” MRE.

(11:30) Hugh gives his impressions and review of the “Chicken Pesto Pasta” MRE.

MRE Patriotic Sugar Cookies

MRE Patriotic Sugar Cookies

(12:05) Hugh and his kids enjoy some MRE cornbread and “Patriotic Sugar Cookies!”  “Old Soldier” Tim explains that in his day he never had fancy desserts like apple turnovers and sugar cookies – in his day it the army was a pound cake industrial complex.   Everyone opines on “fancy combos.”

MRE Patriotic Sugar Cookies

MRE Patriotic Sugar Cookies

(14:05) Rod reviews the “Honey Mustard Pretzel Nuggets” and the dust atop them. Rod tells us about the most generic and driest crackers possible – but he liked them!

(17:43) Rod admits that he sucked peanut butter straight from a dubiously described packet and never considered putting it on the driest cracker he ever ate. Tim prefers the peanut butter over “oily cheese.”

MRE Apple Turnover

MRE Apple Turnover

 

(19:30) Hugh gives his kid some apple turnover.

(20:00) Rod reviews the “Rib Shaped Barbecue Pork Patty” MRE (aka McRib).

(22:15) Drinks. They’ve got electrolytes. Everyone agrees that Tang and Gatorade are delicious. And what does the military have to do with fairies from the Netflix show, “Winx?” Apparently something according to one five-year-old.

(24:30) Tim asks the key question – What was the toilet situation?”

MRE Heating Instructions 1

MRE Heating Instructions 1

(25:55) Hugh and Rod geek out over the MRE’s heating pouch (it heats food basically with those chemical hand warmers) and fussing over the directions. They did not put it on a “rock or something,” which may have been the problem.

(28:30) Did Hugh poison himself? …and the aroma of cooking with chemicals.

MRE Performance Nutrition IInfo

MRE Performance Nutrition Info

 

 

(31:20) Some health notes for our soldiers from the “hot pocket style sleeve.”  Could you eat MREs and loose weight? Well, if you’re soldiering like Tim, yes. If you sit around like Rod and Hugh, not so much.

 

(33:00) How the heck do you open an MRE unless you are manly enough to have an army knife?

(33:45) Rod serves an MRE “Caramel Apple Ranger Bar” to his children and in-laws as a “blind taste test,“ claiming he baked it himself.  Was anybody fooled? No. No they were not.  Although the  Caramel Apple Ranger Bar was said to taste “a little like” sawdust, we all know that Rod’s homemade food tends to taste “a lot like sawdust.”

MRE Meals presented Classy!

MRE Meals presented Classy!

(39:00) Rod and Hugh give their final conclusions. Rod gives the taste a 3 out of 10 on taste. Hugh gave it a five, remarking that the MREs were “edible without a hint of freshness.” Rod and Hugh both recognized that eating an MRE from their suburban kitchens was a far cry from the scenario of a soldier in the field. But it gave a small but real insight into the sacrifices made by our military.

Heating Instructions ("Rock or Something")

Heating Instructions (“Rock or Something”)

 

(43:35) Tim the Enchanter tells the guys about “MRE bombs,” which are NOT the gastronomical result of these meals. Rather, it’s a little prank to pass the time, exploiting the mild chemical reaction you find in the MRE’s heating element. Disclaimer: such “MRE bombs” are against protocol. Tim the Enchanter was, by all accounts, merely a witness to such insubordination and never a party to it.

MRE White Wheat Snack Bread TFF

MRE White Wheat Snack Bread TFF

MRE Chicken Pesto Pasta and Hot Pocket Style Sleeve

MRE Chicken Pesto Pasta and Hot Pocket Style Sleeve

MRE Carbohydrate Electrolyte Beverage Powder (Gatorade)

MRE Carbohydrate Electrolyte Beverage Powder (Gatorade)

MRE Heating Directions "Rock or Something"

MRE Heating Directions “Rock or Something”

MRE Condiment Supply Packet

MRE Condiment Supply Packet

 

MRE Vegetable Crackers

MRE Vegetable Crackers

MRE Cheese Filled Pretzel Cheddar Flavor

MRE Cheese Filled Pretzel Cheddar Flavor

MRE Cornbread TFF

MRE Cornbread TFF

MRE Cheese Spread

MRE Cheese Spread

MRE Chili With Beans and Hot Pocket Style Sleeve

MRE Chili With Beans and Hot Pocket Style Sleeve

 

MRE Beverage Base Powder Orange (Tang)

MRE Beverage Base Powder Orange (Tang)