Extreme Foods – Ep. 95

Fried Crickets, vomit flavored jellybeans, Haribo sugarless gummy bears (toxic flatulence-inducing, of internet legend), and least impressively Toxic Waste Sour Candy – Rod and Hugh dare to try them all. Episode 95, with real gagging sound effects!

 

Fried Crickets courtesy of entomarket in three flavors: Sour Cream and Onion, Chocolate and Coffee, Siracha…

 

 

 

 

Jelly Belly Beanboozled Jelly Beans – flavors include

• Barf
• Booger
• Canned Dog Food
• Dead Fish
• Lawn Clippings
• Moldy Cheese
• Rotten Egg
• Stinky Socks
• Spoiled Milk
• Toothpaste

 


Sugar free Gummy Bears, purported to cause gastronomical distress of epic proportions.

https://www.amazon.com/Albanese-Candy-Sugar-Assorted-5-pound/product-reviews/B00DE4GWWY

 

 

 

Check the scale on the back. How long can you last? Are you a “total wuss?” (15 seconds) or a “full toxie head?” (60 seconds). Take the challenge and see (spoiler – its not really all that bad, especially after 10 seconds…)

Party Foods – Ep. 94

After bearing the heavy burden of throwing a party for my dear wife’s 40th birthday, I

determined the major upsides to the obligation:

(1) I could stockpile our house with all sorts of junk food in the name of marital affection, so long as I focused on her favorite foods;

(2) I could be extravagant in food choices and volume – because who wants to throw a lame party?

(3) I could document the affair for the education and enjoyment of the Hungry Dads audience.

The party menu, as designed by a Hungry Dad:

 

 

There was a surprise party at a yogurt shop…all you could eat yogurt/candy.  I was a hero to all.

 

 

Then a party at our house, with the following:

 

Utz/Herrs Party Mix – It’s not a party without Party Mix.  And this party mix are post-party remnants, with a surprisingly high ratio of Cheetos/cheese crunches.  In this episode, we posit a hypothesis on why the pretzels were plucked out at a higher rate (the “hypothesis” is beer).

 

 

 

Pretzel Bites – A surprise hit with guests.  Highly recommended. Simple but not the kind of party food you see every day.

 

 

 

The Big Sandwich – I am a huge fan of the big sandwich.  It’s a party staple and leftovers are surprisingly versatile.  Just remember to deconstruct any portion of the leftover sandwich that you won’t eat in a few days.  Leftover big sandwich sans lettuce/tomato can keep longer without getting gross – even in the freezer for a future hot sandwich.  Leftover lettuce tomato can serve as a salad in the days after the party (if you are a salad kinda person…we don’t judge).

 

 

 

French Fries – Fries are a crowd pleaser, but beware of having them delivered/brought in. By the time they are packed and travel, the crispy fry-job is lost and they taste more steamed.  Tasty enough. But a bit of a disappointment.

 

 

 

Coffeecake – you may say, “wait…coffeecake at a party…this isn’t an after-church morning mixer…” Well, let me tell you, at this party – coffeecake, served alongside beer and boxed wine, was a hit.   Coffee cake took the place of a proper cake or cupcakes – and nobody complained.

 

 

 

Pizza – Uninspired perhaps. Every party, from a college frat rave to a 4 year old birthday is going to have pizza. And it should.  The good thing about pizza is its ubiquitous appeal, and the fact that if it runs low, you can have more on hand in 30 minutes or less.

 

 

 

Chocolate Chip Cookies – Cookies are a simple crowd pleaser to help diversify your sweet offerings. Not everyone is into cake.

 

 

 

 

Chicken Wings – A crowd pleaser of the highest order. The challenges is whether to get BBQ or Buffalo. My solution – get both. Problem solved.

 

 

 

Herrs Nacho Cheese Dip/ Mild Cheddar Cheese Dip – An essential accessory to the pretzel bites (see above).

 

 

 

 

Giant Reeses Peanut Butter Cups – Despite some controversy on its peanut butter to chocolate ratios, this serves as an amazing alternative to a cheese plate. Put this thing on a cheese plate with a knife and watch your guests gleefully hack off chunks of this bad boy.

 

 

 

Giant Reesess with Giant Twizzlers and a hand for scale – Giant candy is fun.

 

 

 

 

Mini Sugar Cookies – Like Chocolate Chip cookies (above) a simple crowd pleaser to help diversify your sweet offerings. Not everyone is into cake, or chocolate chip cookies.

 

 

 

La Croix Seltzer – People love seltzer – especially La Croix. What’s the deal? Don’t believe us? Check out our Seltzer Episode.

 

 

 

Utz Pretzel Rods – A solid offering for any party. Dip it in any cheeses, chocolates, marshmallow fluffs or mustards in sight.   And you can pretend it’s a cigar and you are a wall street fatcat!

 

 

 

Target Market Pantry Peanut Butter Filled Pretzels – Peanut butter filled pretzels should be a no-brainer.  And sure, these are okay, but the result is subpar when compared to expectations. Surprisingly, it’s the pretzel that overperforms here – crispy and mostly consisting of the salty outer shell.  But inside, the peanut butter is a dried out nugget of crusty peanut butter. Not a hint of creaminess or smoothness to it.

 

 


Random Candy – this represents only a portion of my spoils, a result of perhaps the finest food scam ever to be perpetrated.  The invitation read, “No Presents Please.” So polite right? But lets be real. People hate coming empty handed.  We’d likely end up with 25 bottles of red wine in surrogate, “non-presents.” To appease the giving instincts of party guests, they were invited to bring a small amount of the birthday girl’s favorite candy – it then listed off all of her favorites (and some of my own).  To each individual, “a little candy,” was still a good amount.  All together, we yielded a kings ransom in sour gummies, choco/peanut butter foodstuffs, fruit chews, and licorice.


S’mores Station – A fun, mildly kitchy element to the party, offering the primary constituents of the s’more and some more unorthodox options.  We offered many ways to make your s’more – microwave, over a gas-stove flame or simply by spreading it on without any heating element at all.

Reese’s Spread – Purchased as an accessory to the “s’mores station” at a 40th birthday party for those who wanted to craft a s’more without a heating element.  Reese’s spread delivers almost exactly what you would hope – a semi-liquid (plasma?) version of your favorite peanut butter cup.  An overall creamy texture with an undercurrent of fine, granular, crunchiness, which is seemingly peanut butter particles.  To be clear, these particles are not off-putting like sand. They melt in your mouth deliciously.  But it is worth remarking that the overall experience does not evoke Reeses Cups or Reese’s Pieces. Instead, interestingly, it evokes Butterfinger, based on the crunch and flavor of the aforementioned peanut butter particulate.

Hershey’s Spread –Delicious and chocolaty. Like milk chocolate delicious. It’s not “rich” chocolate – which to me is code for bitter.  This stuff is the liquid version of a Hershey bar.  And it’s not pretending to be healthy like Nutella.    (Purchased as an accessory to the “s’mores station” at a 40th birthday party for those who wanted to craft a s’more without a heating element.)


Marshmallow Fluff – Yep. Its liquidy, plasma-like marshmallow.  It delivers exactly what you want. With fluff, its kinda neat that you get just the “inside” of the marshmallow.  None of that dry exterior soaking up your saliva before you get to the sticky center – it’s all sticky center!  Also, a fantastic phenomenon of the marshmallow fluff is that after you’ve pilfered some with, lets say, a spoon – within a few seconds, the top evens out, eliminating any evidence. It becomes smooth as paper.  Imagine how much time you spend trying to conceal your spoon marks in peanut butter or ice cream. No such issue here.  (Purchased as an accessory to the “s’mores station” at a 40th birthday party for those who wanted to craft a s’more without a heating element.)

 


Flipz Chocolate Covered Pretzels – The mix of salty and sweet in the chocolate covered pretzel is a crowd pleaser and I’m not sure anyone does it better than Flipz. There may be some “Ye Olde Chocolate Shop” on the boardwalk somewhere who supposedly does it better.  Strip away the charm and nostalgia, and I’ll bet these mass-manufactured versions are better.  Scientifically ideal ratios of chocolate, salt, and pretzel. God bless the mass-food production industrial machine.

 


Kenny’s Krumbs – “The best part of the crumb cake,” they claim.  A bold claim to which Kenny does not deliver.  Kenny provides a suitable and tasty cinnamon/brown sugar cookie-style offering.  But this does not, frankly, compare to the crumbly top part of a crumb cake.  A great idea worthy of Seinfeld’s “Top O’ the Muffin,” but not evocative of the crumb cake top.

 

 


Kettle Corn – A party favorite. Nuff’ said.

 

 

 

 

A jar of candy – this also represents only a portion of my spoils, a result of perhaps the finest food scam ever to be perpetrated.  The invitation read, “No Presents Please.” So polite right? But lets be real. People hate coming empty handed.  We’d likely end up with 25 bottles of red wine in surrogate, “non-presents.” To appease the giving instincts of party guests, they were invited to bring a small amount of the birthday girl’s favorite candy – it then listed off all of her favorites (and some of my own).  To each individual, “a little candy,” was still a good amount.  All together, we yielded a kings ransom in sour gummies, choco/peanut butter foodstuffs, fruit chews, and licorice.

 

An etsy-style, “candy-cake” with candies formed atop Styrofoam in a cake shape – an extremely thoughtful gift from a party guest which also represents only a portion of my spoils, a result of perhaps the finest food scam ever to be perpetrated.  The invitation read, “No Presents Please.” So polite right? But let’s be real. People hate coming empty handed.  We’d likely end up with 25 bottles of red wine in surrogate, “non-presents.” To appease the giving instincts of party guests, they were invited to bring a small amount of the birthday girl’s favorite candy – it then listed off all of her favorites (and some of my own).  To each individual, “a little candy,” was still a good amount.  All together, we yielded a kings ransom in sour gummies, choco/peanut butter foodstuffs, fruit chews, and licorice.

 

More chicken wings – see above.

 

 

 

 

Breckenridge Brewery Vanilla Porter – I like porters, often, because they can meld in flavors that I would otherwise call a snack – chocolate, s’mores, and here vanilla.  While I sort of dream that it will be a milkshake in a bottle, I honestly am always pleased when I get a tasty beer with a twinge of the sweet taste offered on the label. Here, Breckenridge Brewery gives us a pretty nice porter with a smattering of vanilla. Myself, not a beer enthusiast, would have welcomed some more vanilla here.  Nonetheless, this was a tasty one.

 

 

Not Your Mom’s Apple Pie/Strawberry Rhubarb – So these aren’t beer (I don’t think) or wine coolers – but they are alcoholic and the offshoot (I think) of the popular “Not your Father’s” brand of alcoholic root beer.  Whether or not these are a sweet beer, a wine cooler, or something else entirely, these are the bottled equivalent of a drink with a flower in it. Utterly un-masculine and utterly delicious. I could drink these all day.  That said, if you feel a little effeminate drinking it, feel free to ogle the shapely and attractive “mom” on the front of the label offering you her pie.  Norman Rockwell-meets-pinup girl. Definitely not your mom.

 

Pendulum Pilsner – An Edgar Allen Poe themed beer in honor of my wife’s Baltimore roots.

 

 

 

 

Sweet Baby Jesus! Chocolate Peanut Butter Porter – As noted before, I like porters, often, because they can meld in flavors that I would otherwise call a snack – chocolate, s’mores, vanilla.  But is there any chance they can meld chocolate/peanut butter with beer and not make it terrible?  Yes. Yes they can. And they did. This thing is tasty, tasty, tasty.  It’s not some sugar laden faux beer. Nope. Its porter and its surprisingly not sweet.  It takes chocolate, which is by its nature bitter, and peanuts, which are not naturally sweet, and put them in the porter, and…and… it works. That’s all I can say.  It evokes the peanut butter part of my brain and keeps up as a tasty porter.

 

FOOD  – Plan to feed fifty people.  Have it served/delivered waves:

  • 6pm – snacks, chips, crackers, soft pretzels, sushi, drinks
  • 645pm – sliders, fries
  • 715pm pizza, wings
  • 9:15PM: Dessert
  • Soft Pretzels (from the store, in our oven): 24 soft pretzels, mustard, cheese dip
  • Sushi Party Tray 1 (8 rolls): 2 Spicy Tuna, 2 California, 2 Salmon Avocado, 2 Shrimp Tempura
  • Sushi Party Tray 2 (16 sushi, 3 rolls): 16 pcs. Assort. sushi, 1 Dragon roll, 1 Rainbow roll, 1 Cali
  • 48 sliders (four trays) – assorted 8 Beef, 16 cheeseburger, 8 Pulled Chicken, 6 Pulled Pork, 6 Chicken, 4 Veggie
  • 3-4 catering orders of fries
  • 2 catering orders of sweet potato fries
  • 1 catering order of onion rings
  • 32 slices of pizza (four pizzas 2 plain, one meat, half veggie, half mushroom)
  • 2 Full trays of wings (serves 14-18 each tray) – one hot, one BBQ3-foot sandwich (ham, turkey, cheddar)
  • Snacks/Dessert – Pretzels, Flavored Popcorn, Chips, Kenny’s Crumbs, Giant Reeses, S’mores Station, Coffeecake, cookies

DRINK

  • Wine – 25 bottles: enough for 25 wine drinkers (1 bottle/4 drinks per wine drinker)
  • (get 60%-70% white, 15% red, 15% rose – 17 white, 4 red, 4 rose)
  • Beer – 25 six packs: enough for 25 beer drinkers (4-6 beers per beer drinker)
  • Soda/seltzer – La Croix Seltzer – 36 cans, Coke – 12 cans / Diet Coke – 12 cans, Boylan’s diet crème soda / Boylan’s diet black cherry soda

Butter Etiquette – Ep. 93

It’s high time someone on the internet took a good hard look at the various butter etiquette nuances out there. I mean, seriously, is it okay to use butter on a chocolate muffin?  How about on a peanut butter and jelly and butter sandwich? How about for shavin’ them man whiskers?

Fortunately, Hugh and Rod have once again heroically stepped in to provide you, the Hungry Dads listener, with the indispensable “Butter Appropriateness Quiz” ©  Rod ranks the following butter scenarios in the order of most appropriate use of butter to the least appropriate use of butter. Feel free to rank them for yourself and see if you’re as smart as Rod!

BUTTER USE SCENARIOS IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER:

  • Blueberry Muffin
  • Movie Theater Popcorn
  • On a Steak
  • Peanut Butter and Jelly and Butter Sandwich
  • Ham and Butter Sandwich
  • In Coffee
  • Chocolate Muffin
  • Generously Buttering EVERY Bite of a Dinner Roll
  • Pop Tart
  • Saltine

Oh, and then the guys each perform a butter shave on-air.  Is that appropriate?  Listen to find out!!!

Girl Scout Cookies – Ep. 92

Thin Mints® , Samoas® , Tagalongs® , Trefoils® , Do-si-dos® ,  Toffee-tastic™ , Girl Scout S’mores™ – Rod and Hugh review them all – with live on-air taste tests. How do you pronounce “Trefoils?”  Are “Samoas” named after the people of a Polynesian Island?   These are just  a few of the discussions that display the Hungry Dads’ utter ignorance and lack of basic intelligence. Listen and feel smarter. 

Jerky, Slaw, Bed (Happy Father’s Day) – Ep. 91

The Hungry Dads, once again pay tribute to their own fathers, themselves, and fathers everywhere with focus on some manly father-favorite foods (jerky and coleslaw), by debating the manliest of foods, and by deciding whether or not breakfast in bed is a sham.  Special guest, father of the Rod Budget, the elder Budget, the Swammi of Slaw, the Babe Ruth of Cole Slaw, Hotbobby!

Reviewed in this episode:  Epic Meat Bars – Turkey Almond Cranberry, Bison Bacon Cranberry, Venison Sea Salt + Pepper

 

Rank ’em – Pizza, fries, burgers, drinking straws – Ep. 90

Rod and Hugh leverage their vast eating experience to objectively rank, compare, and contrast the spectrum of quality for pizza, french fries, burgers, and drinking straws.  If you thought they could only opine on the spectrum of soda, eggs, and sandwiches… think again. They have strong and important opinions about drinking straws, too! An important episode that is not to be missed.

 

Ranked! KFC’s Colonel Sanders Renditions (A Tastemaker Special) Ep. 89

We rank the various renditions of Colonel Sanders, examining the original first, then the imitators, good, bad, accurate, and illegitimate. Who will the next colonel be? Maybe our own Rod Budget?  A quick look at each of KFC’s Colonels discussed in this episode:

“Original Recipe” – The real guy. The standard by which the rest are measured.  Listen to Episode 73 for the story of how he may be Hugh Gallon’s father.

 

 

Animated (mentioned in jump the shark Episode 73) – Sort of nice animation and style, but they had the Colonel trying to be cool and a little “extreme” in that 1990s style – even a fluid hip motion “cabbage patch” dance… “Go colonel…Go colonel” … So lame. (trivia: voiced by Randy Quaid)

 

The Colonel of Two worlds/The Colonel Corps – Kitschy and in line with the broad “multiple colonel” vision. Good art. Not a good story.

 

Dolph Ziggler – During 2016 SummerSlam, a commercial showed wrestler Dolph Ziggler dressed up as Colonel Sanders beating up a giant chicken in a wrestling ring. Nice synergy and embedded content. Another play against the kindly old man archetype.

 

 

Rob Lowe – Smoldering good looks, distinguished charm, and sexy charisma. This might be the second best play against type for the ‘ole Colonel. Inspired choice and surprisingly A-list, even if a bit boring.

 

 

George Hamilton – Nice play on the crispy chicken bit with Hamilton’s deep tanned skin. But sort of hacky and a little gross to conflate the two images – crispy chicken skin and darkened human skin?

 

 

Rob Riggle –  Part of the success for any Colonel, is of course, being a fan of the person inside the white suit. I’ve seen a fair amount of Rob Riggle in stuff. I think he’s talented enough. Seems like a nice guy.  But I’ve never cared for his humor – not my style. But somehow his schtick as the Colonel cracked me up. Maybe the perfect role for him?

Billy Zane – The gold gimmick was lame. And why Billy Zane? If there is a clever connection between the two, let us know.

 

 

Norm McDonald – Perfect play against type and makes it clear that they are not trying to give us a viable Colonel Sanders. Got me excited about the “multiple colonels” campaign.

 

Jim Gaffigan – We predicted it! Good fit to type for the campaign (Gaffigan is irreverent loves food). This sort of kicked off Gaffigan as a bankable commercial personality.

 

Darrel Hammond – Hammond was the first in this new campaign of multiple colonels and his rendition was too earnest and quite creepy. Hated it at the time. I’ve softened on it though. We didn’t know the long term plan, and can forgive it some in retrospect.

Easter Eating, Passover, and Jackfruit – Ep. 88

It’s a springtime explosion, as the guys discuss two of the most important eating traditions during the season of renewal: Easter/Passover and jackfruit!  Don’t tell me you don’t know jack! You don’t know jack… fruit.  Listen to the episode for a rundown of Hugh’s jackfruit heroics, and click here for an even more detailed account complete with pictures and humiliations!

 

Snackademics: Food Labeling Ep. 87

It’s time for an education on food labels.  We aren’t talking about the unimportant labels like nutrition and calorie content. No. We mean those super important marketing labels that help make us believe these foods are delicious.  “Homestyle,” “homemade,” “natural” “chef-crafted,” and more. What do they all mean? They mean poppy-cock. That’s what…

Food label Quiz – Fill in the blank – We found some food labels language worth examining. Can you decipher the real label? (next to the red arrow) and choose the right answer?  Ignore the apparent size/shape of the smudged wording. We are expert photoshopppers and masked it well.

ANSWERS at the bottom of the page (with some insightful commentary) – check out Episode 87 for more mind blowing insight from the incomparable Rod and Hugh. If you see a hyperlink, check out our review.

1. Yoo-Hoo Chocolate “_______”

a) “Milk”

b) “Non-dairy”

c) “Drink”

 

 

 

2. Mini Babybel Mozzarella “_______”

a) “Wheel”

b) “Style”

c) “Cheese product”

 

 

3. The “_______” Crispy Chicken Sandwich from BK

a) “Extra”

b) “New”

c) “Homestyle”

 

 

4. Black Forest Gummy Bears – middle label states “_______”

a) “Made with Real Fruit Juice”

b) “Now with Green Apple!”

c) “Gelatin rendered from only free range horse bones & hooves”

 


5. Kettle Brand Moscow Mule Potato Chips label states “_______”

a) “Non –GMO Project Verified”

b) “Flavored with Stevia”

c) “Contains less than .05% insect parts”

 

 

6. The “_______” Cracker Tub (TM)

a) “Original”

b) “Lil’ Bitz”

c) “Classic”

 

 

 

7. Chiquita Banana “_______”

a) “Win your own fruit hat!”

b) “Potassi-tastic!”

c) “Bop it!”

 

8. Mtn. Dew Kickstart – Electrolytes “_______”

a) “Not a significant form of hydration”

b) “For taste”

c) “It’s what plants crave”

 

 

 

9. Sweet and Saucy Barbecue Rib Popcorn

a) “With Real Sweet Baby Ray’s BBQ Sauce”

b) “Naturally Flavored”

c) “Naturally and Artificially Flavored”

 

 

 

10. Starbucks “_________” Bacon Cheddar & Egg

(a) “Double-Smoked”

(b) “Triple Thick Cut”

(c) “Quadruple Crispy”

 

 

 

 

11. Dash Gas Station The Boss “_______” Sandwich

(a) “Meat-Muenster Mutant”

(b) “Chef-Crafted”

(c) “Gourmet-Style”

 

 

 

 

12. 20oz Soft Drinks 3/$4 Excludes “_______”

(a) “Mutant”

(b) “Monster”

(c) “Seltzer”

 

13. Publix Organic Spinach “_________”

(a) “Washed”

(b) “Double Washed”

(c) “Triple Washed”

 

 

14. Sweetened “_______” Old Fashioned Firehouse Southern Tea

(a) “Zero Calorie”

(b) “Confederate Style”

(c) “With Cane Sugar”

THE ANSWERS

 

Yoo-Hoo Chocolate “_______”

a) “Milk”

b) “Non-dairy”

c) “Drink”

We looked and didn’t see any legal prohibition on calling it milk, which was surprising at first. The Dairy lobby is powerful. But then again… think about soy “milk,” or almond “milk.”  With Yoo-hoo, we think, not being called milk is intentional and its greatest marketing strength.  Hugh is a big fan of Yoo-hoo, and recalls in his youth being pitched Yoo-hoo as better than chocolate milk because it’s not so thick and “gloppy,” in your throat. He’s been hooked ever since. Check out our Yoo-hoo chugging challenge  in Episode 74.

Mini Babybel Mozzarella “_______”

a) “Wheel”

b) “Style”

c) “Cheese product”

It’s not really Mozzarella?  Why must it merely be Mozzarella “sytle?” Is cheese Like Champagne? – to be called mozzarella it needs to be done a certain way?  In a certain place?  We looked in the Hungry Dads fridge for some generic store brand shredded mozzarella and it says just “mozzarella” with no qualifier.  If they don’t have to claim “style,” why does Babybel care?  Any cheesemongers in our audience, please write in and tell us.

The “_______” Crispy Chicken Sandwich from BK

a) “Extra”

b) “New”

c) “Homestyle”

Was this thing new? According to BK’s marketing folks, they were responding to chatter that their chicken sandwiches were “gross.”  They purport new breading process and higher quality chicken. But to my taste test, it seemed pretty much the same – and didn’t look quite as good as its ad version. Chicken sandwiches are “trending” in NYC thanks to one put out by Shake Shack that is surely overhyped. Guess BK wants in.

Black Forest Gummy Bears – middle label states “_______”

a) “Made with Real Fruit Juice”

b) “Now with Green Apple!

c) “Gelatin rendered from only free range horse bones & hooves”

Gummy Bears “made with REAL FRUIT JUICE” – is this supposed to tell me that gummy bears are sort of healthy? Or that juice isn’t all that healthy?  How much fruit juice do they need to add to qualify this claim?

And an answer to the asterisks’ conspiracy…

Kettle Brand Moscow Mule Potato Chips label states “_______”

a) “Non –GMO Project Verified”

b) “Flavored with Stevia”

c) “Contains less than .05% insect parts”

Also note the gluten free label. This is a play to try to make the potato chips look like health food, right? It kinda works. That butterfly is very ethereal and weightless, much like I will feel after eating a bag of their chips. All nice and good, but don’t forget that Kettle paid to have that label. From the Non-GMO Project website about getting verificaiton, “The cost varies depending on how many products you wish to submit for verification…” So this was an expense that Kettle baked into their “Moscow Mule” chip, in order to convince you that it’s at least natural, and perhaps even a little good for you.

The “_______” Cracker Tub

a) “Original”

b) “‘Lil Bitz”

c) “Classic”

The Original?! – We see the word “original” in other places like Skittles, meaning, the original flavors – not “tropical” or whatever.  But here, what’s so original.  This one is Sour Cream and Onion so that’s not what they mean. The Original Cracker Tub? Do we really think there is an original? If so, do we think Global Brands (Product of India) are the originators of putting crackers in a tub? They must be. They have a trademark right there on the name.  Is this a play at Cracker Barrel?

Chiquita Banana “_______”

a) “Get your own fruit hat!”

b) “Potassi-tastic!”

c) “Bop it!”

A toy advertisement on my fruit?  Cross promotion has no boundaries. But, in all honesty, it doesn’t really bother us.  We haven’t felt compelled to buy a Bop-it though.

Mtn. Dew Kickstart – Electrolytes “_______”

a) “not a significant form of hydration”

b) “For taste”

c) “It’s what plants crave”

d) What does an electrolyte taste like? Salt I think. Mountain Dew clearly thought putting the word “electrolytes” was a good word to put on their can in big letters. They didn’t have to do that. They must’ve thought people liked electrolytes.  If you don’t understand option (c), check out the cult classic film Idiocracy.  I would almost have believed that Mountain Dew would use the tagline “It’s what plants crave,” in a cross promotional opportunity – its got more synergy than Bop It.  Debatably better than the Superbowl commercial puppymonkeybaby.

Sweet and Saucy Barbecue Rib Popcorn

a) “With Real Sweet Baby Ray’s BBQ Sauce”

b) “Naturally Flavored”

c) “Naturally and Artificially Flavored”

So there, they can claim that BBQ popcorn was “Naturally Flavored.” And not “naturally and artificially” flavored. How? Why? Let me allow the FDA to answer from  FDA.gov: (in sum, anything that is not defined as “artificial” may be called “natural.”  And a section of code defines “artificial” as, things that are NOT “derived from a spice, fruit or fruit juice, vegetable or vegetable juice, edible yeast, herb, bark, bud, root, leaf or similar plant material, meat, fish, poultry, eggs, dairy products, or fermentation products thereof.” Still don’t get it? Read more below.

Starbucks “_________” Bacon Cheddar & Egg

(a) “Double-Smoked”

(b) “Triple Thick Cut”

(c) “Quadruple Crispy”

Maybe this means a double dump of liquid smoke in the pink slime from which the bacon is made? (actually, pink slime is probably a myth, but we choose to believe).

Dash Gas Station The Boss “_______” Sandwich

(a) “Meat-Muenster Mutant”

(b) “Chef-Crafted”

(c) “Gourmet-Style”

The Gas station Chef?

20oz Soft Drinks 3/$4 Excludes “_______”

(a) “Mutant”

(b) “Monster”

(c) “Seltzer”

If you see this sign, ask the cashier what mutant is. See if they know. It’s a fun game.

Publix Organic Spinach “_________”

(a) “Washed”

(b) “Double Washed”

(c) “Triple Washed”

Why not Quadruple wash? How exactly do they do multipole washes? Does it go in multiple bings? What liquids are used? Water? Anything else? Could somebody help me out? Because I’d like to know!!!

Sweetened “_______” Old Fashioned Firehouse Southern Tea

(a) “Zero Calorie”

(b) “Confederate Style”

(c) “With Cane Sugar”

Is cane sugar supposed to be healthier? (Hint: its not)

* They further state: “From a food science perspective, it is difficult to define a food product that is ‘natural’ because the food has probably been processed and is no longer the product of the earth. That said, FDA has not developed a definition for use of the term natural or its derivatives. However, the agency has not objected to the use of the term if the food does not contain added color, artificial flavors, or synthetic substances.”  The FDA Requested Comments from the public on Use of the Term “Natural” on Food Labeling back in May 2016 – there are thousands posted. Some professional and some just regular people.

The FDA has considered the term “natural” to mean that nothing artificial or synthetic  (including all color additives regardless of source) has been included in, or has been added to, a food that would not normally be expected to be in that food.  However, this policy was not intended to address food production methods, such as the use of pesticides, nor did it explicitly address food processing or manufacturing methods, such as thermal technologies, pasteurization, or irradiation. The FDA also did not consider whether the term “natural” should describe any nutritional or other health benefit. 

TITLE 21–CHAPTER I– SUBCHAPTER B– PART 101 — FOOD LABELING  (a)(1) The term artificial flavor or artificial flavoring means any substance, the function of which is to impart flavor, which is not derived from a spice, fruit or fruit juice, vegetable or vegetable juice, edible yeast, herb, bark, bud, root, leaf or similar plant material, meat, fish, poultry, eggs, dairy products, or fermentation products thereof. Artificial flavor includes the substances listed in 172.515(b) and 182.60 of this chapter except where these are derived from natural sources.

 

Rank ’em! Sandwich types, soda, egg styles – Ep. 86

Rod and Hugh leverage their vast eating experience to objectively rank, compare, and contrast foods in three essential categories – sandwiches (hoagies, vs. heroes, vs paninis and more); eggs (poached, scrambled, deviled, etc.); and soda (fountain, can, bottle) Whaddya like?  Best to the worst, with the expertise and analysis you’ve come to expect.

Sandwich Spectrum

  1. Hoagie/grinder/wedge 
  2. 3-6 foot hero (slice of)
  3. Soft roll
  4. Hard roll
  5. Sliced bread
  6. Flatbread/panini 
  7. Wraps 
  8. Pita pocket 
  9. lettuce wraps 
  10. Baguette

Eggs

  1. In a cake 
  2. Scrambled
  3. Deviled
  4. Over easy
  5. Sunny side up
  6. Hard Boiled
  7. Poached
  8. Soft boiled

 Spectrum of Soda Quality

  1. Fountain
  2. Freestyle
  3. Glass bottle
  4. Can
  5. Plastic bottle (single serve)
  6. Plastic bottle (two liter)
  7. Bar wand/bad fountain

Lays Do Us a Flavor 2017 – The Pitch! Ep. 85

Hungry Dads Podcast Lays The Pitch 2017

The Hungry Dads Podcast, has covered the Lays Do Us a Flavor for years. We have a real passion for choosing and pitching flavors! They asked for it…

“Our fans live flavorful lives, full of delicious tastes and rich personal experiences, which have translated to interesting and innovative chip flavor ideas throughout the years,” said Jeannie Cho, vice president of marketing, Frito-Lay. “These incredible flavor ideas were created by everyday fans, each with their own flavorful story. This year, we’re asking fans to pitch us their $1 million dollar flavor idea because we also want to see the flavor behind the flavor – we want to celebrate the people, passion and inspiration stories behind the flavor ideas that make it delicious.”

We’ve covered this promotion thing plenty before…

Episode 1: The Chip Episode

Episode: 20 Lays Do Us a Flavor 2015

Episode 45: Lays Do Us A Flavor

All of the Finalist Flavors Reviewed and Ranked

Time for a new crop in 2017! And here’s the pitches…

Vanilla Cherry Slushie

Everyone’s favorite summer treat, the shaved ice slushie. Put it on a chip and you’ve got that sweet favorite anytime you want, all year long! And it won’t melt if you leave it sitting. But these chips won’t sit for long!

 

Ash Ripened Goat Cheese!

You can’t bleeeeeeet our newest Lays flavor: Ash ripened goat cheese.  check out these of mild flavored cheese chips topped off with a kick of ripened ash. Don’t be shy next time you’re searching for a bold flavorful chip. go ahead and make a goat of yourself. And while you’re at it, make an ash of yourself too.

 

Baked Beans and Hot Dogs

It’s just not a picnic without classic, sweet and tender baked beans. How about some sliced and snappy hot dog?  Two great flavors. Even greater together in a potato chip.

 

Toasted Sourdough & Roast Beef Sandwich

Sourdough. Beef. Put them together. Add a cup of Aus Jus, and you’ve got a hearty classic dripping with flavor. Face it, ever since you were a kid you’ve gotten a thrill from putting potato chips inside your sandwich. Well now, how about putting your sandwich inside of a chip!?

 

Cheddar Sub

There is nothing better than CHEDDAR. It makes for a classic sandwich with you favorite cold cuts! You love putting potato chips inside your sandwich. Well how about putting your sandwich inside of a chip?

 

Cherry Gelatin

Relive the sweet cherry goodness you remember as a kid with the crunch of a kettle cooked chip!  You won’t get caught red handed, but you might get caught red-tounged. Didn’t you know? These chips will turn your tongue bright red just like that classic gelatin treat!

 

Deep Fried Salted Caramel Bacon

At the ‘ole State Fair they’ll deep fry anything. Nothing is off limits! Now Lays is testing your flavor limits! Thick cut bacon dipped in golden salty caramel all deep fried in a thick and crunchy batter.

 

Frito Chili Pie

What’s the best thing about pie? The Fritos and chili, of course. Don’t tell me you were thinking about meringue or tarts or fruits. Them’s sissy pies. What’s the best thing about frito chili pie? The potato chip. That’s right all the flavor with none of the mess. New lays frito chili  pie potato chips.  No more sissy pies.

 

Gator Tail

Gator Tail! Tastes Like Chicken! Except its alligator, ya swamp fool!

 

Glazed Donut

Glazed over eyes in the morning…(yawn)… bad. Glazed over roads… (crash!)…. bad. Glazed over beard oil…Whaa?!! yes it’s a thing…. weird. Glazed over donuts… yummm…. amazing. Glazed over donut potato chips… huh? … the glaze hero of the newish millennia.

 

Huevos Rancheros

Rev up for your favorite Tex-Mex breakfast anytime with Lays Huevos Rancheros chips!  Salty tortilla, savory egg, and a not-too-spicy salsa in a potato crunch will make you shout “Ole!”

 

Mulligatawny Soup

Before that “show about nothing” appeared on tv, nobody had heard of this exotic soup.   But now, mulligatawny is a fun word to say and a tasty chip to crunch. mulligatawny .  mulligataaaawny .. what’s it taste like? I don’t know??? Seriously…Could somebody help me out?

 

Potato

What’s the craziest exotic chip flavor for 2017??? Catnip? Dinosaur blood? Polka dots? Think again. When was the last time you had a true potato chip? WRONG! You’ve never had a potato chip. Because potato chips don’t taste like any potato I’ve ever eaten. Not baked, not mashed, not smashed, not hashed. So, it’s time to make a potato flavored potato chip.

 

Shrimp Cocktail

When is the last time you’ve been to a classy party and have not been offered a classy shrimp cocktail? Bring the party to you in these shrimp cocktail flavored chips.  With a classic shrimpy crunch and the right hint of cocktail sauce, bring some class to your bag of chips!

Spicy Sausage Jambalaya

No need to fire up the stove.  Fire up the jazz band instead! Crunch into hearty jambalaya with just the right amount of spice – it’ll bring you back home to the bayou!

 

Seltzer vs. Soda Ep. 84

When did seltzer become the newest craze?  We assume its the latest the war against soda that has created room for this healthier, fizzy, more socially acceptable alternative. But does it taste good?  Is it a little too effeminate for Rod to Enjoy with his Beef Jerky?  Why is everybody drinking La Croix with reckless abandon?   Club soda, tonic water, seltzer…what’s the difference?  It all drives Hugh  to drinking (with a “Spiked Seltzer” live taste test).

And then some soda analysis.  Can you make decent cola at home with some tap water, some CO2, and some specialty syrup – ala Sodastream?  How would such a soda rank amongst the spectrum of soda quality?  What about cola flavor in a gummy bear? What about cola flavoring in a condom?  Podbot joins as official guest host and wraps it all up with a very special message.

 

Yep. That’s a cola flavored condom. Did we taste test it?  Listen to the episode to find out…or keep reading. No. No we didn’t.

Cola flavored gummies.  Probably the same consistency as the condom. We did taste test this…

Spiked Seltzer – booze and condoms, its one helluva episode.

Hugh’s Sodastream in action!